I apologize because I will never be able to promise you a tomorrow. Because too much scares me away and too little bores me. It’s one step forward five steps back with me. I apologize because I am a burning building and you’re walking right into me.         

 

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Voicemail #1

“… I’m still trying to find my voice. I’m still trying to feel okay. Please bear with me, stick around a little while longer.” 

9:08 PM

I think I unintentionally break my own heart. 

You always did say I was clumsy.

I feel my eyes slowly closing, I’m growing tired.

Lately I feel like many years have passed. 

I’m turning the page, I’m saying goodbye. 

#986

I am not perfect. I’m prone to fits of sadness, I am intermittently self destructive, and at times selfish. I am a tsunami of words crashing down, pressing against your skin, drowning you.  

#789

She’s just a wanderlust girl,

running from one place to another,

partly because she wants to see the world,

mostly because she’s scared to stay,

and lose all that magic in her.

Glass 

Your voice sounded like breaking glass. Or maybe that was my heart breaking. All I know is you don’t sound like you anymore.

Pieces that can’t be fixed

Sometimes we just outgrow people. Friendships and relationships end abruptly without any real explanation. People grow up and change, they try to figure out who they are now and who they’re going to be. And when this happens you should respect the change. Learn from the experience, some day you’ll find that even if friendships end, some bonds never disappear. 

Drowning

I write to attempt to resurface from these emotions, only to find that I am still drowning. I sit in front of pen and paper, spilling out words. If only to catch a moments air, before its ripped away. A moment of peace and tranquility before being dragged down into the epitome of sadness and despair. 

Excerpt from the story I’ll never write #2

“I’ve moved on from you. Honest to god I have. 

But sometimes on sleepless nights I find myself thinking about you. 

I think about your stormy sea green eyes and the way they sent shivers down my spine when they met mine. 

I think about your smile and the way it made my heart skip a beat. Your gap that you detested but I adored. 

I think about the way your hands felt on my skin. Gentle but firm, lighting fires underneath my skin. 

I’m over you. I swear I am. Even if I feel a stab of jealousy when you’re around her. Even if I linger around just to catch glimpses of you passing by. 

Even if I still talk too fucking loud whenever you’re around.”

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